Hello! Happy Monday!
Happy Leap Day!!!
Saturday morning I woke up and reviewed a
bunch of critiques for the lit mag.
Reading all the submissions,
I began to think:
I have a draft about books I kind of gave away,
and now miss.
These are they,
These are the books that have been freed from my library,
another reason why
I’d be a bad librarian.
(“No, just bring it back — whenever. Really.
Like, it’s yours now. Enjoy.”)
Nightlight: The Harvard Lampoon (genuinely missing since 2010—unlikely to get back now, but enjoyed it while I had it. This Ivied send-up to Twilight is probably the only saving grace of the vampire trend of 2000’s. Nightlight spoke to my middle school soul.)
Picture of Dorian Gray: Oscar Wilde (missing since 2012—lent to aunt with great lipsticking abilities. This one is actually missing.)
Boy, Snow, Bird: Helen Oyeyemi (down the street since 2015—lent to a neighborhood friend, with the caveat, “I need it back by 2020”. No rush here.)
Z: A Novel of Zelda Fitzgerald: Therese Anne Fowler (down the hall since November 2015—Lent to friend. No rush, she’s a slowpoke while reading— understandably, since she’s taking three sciences with labs right now.)
The Secret History: Donna Tartt (taking a Roman holiday 😉 since December 2015—lent to a Classics major presently on an archaeology tour of Europe. Humbly, I ask she not murder me.)
The Goldfinch: Donna Tartt (somwhere upstairs since January 2016, with a friend. It took me ten months to finish; I hope to get this back before 2017.)
Treasury of Poems (2013) (from my grandfather’s beach house)
Last Man in Hell (2015) (weirdest play ever)
Political Science Textbook from the Library (2016) (two days overdue!)
The Book Thief (2011-2014 — because my brother wouldn’t tell me where he stashed it. Thanks, Fuzz.)
We Were Liars (three weeks overdue — because it was at the house, and I am at school. YAAAY for library fines.)
A Bunch That I Can’t Think of, Borrowed on My Card, Which My Sister Refused to Return (Bear’s toddlerhood — present day.)
I would definitely be a bad librarian.
(But if you get artificially-colored food on the pages,
that is another story.
P.S. it is unusually warm for february. it was in the upper seventies a week ago!
P.P.S. this is super tongue in cheek, as i’m sure you know. and as far as i know, neither the smiths or marina, or arthur beatrice, for that matter, wrote these (love)songs about books.
you never know though, with those british musicians…
punchy as always
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